blog de hilary

2003-10-17T15:43:00.000-05:00

even deep wells go dry

2003-06-19T23:37:00.000-05:00

If You are Not the One

I sit on my bed-waiting for your call-nothing left to do-but stare at the wall-when we first met-it felt a lot like this-anxious for the unknown-even that first kiss-but this time it's different-my hope has all died-and I stopped keeping track-of all the tears that I've cried-

and my consequence is pain
as a result of your choice
and your spoken words
leave me with no voice
where can I go
where do I run
who can I trust
if you are not the one

if I had one wish-it would be a new start-in this dream-there is room inside your heart-we would find true love-between the laughter and tears-you would take me into your arms-and settle all my fears-but I doubt that there are seconds-if there's such a thing as chance-so here's where it seems to quit-it's the end of our romance-

if you are not the one
I know I'll get over you
I just wasn't ready to

2001-09-29T22:49:00.000-05:00

it seems to me that to force your experience and belief upon another person is an inevitable failure. if I were to stretch my hand before me I could call that the entire realm of human experience. the very tip of my pinky finger would be what you or I have experienced. I cannot expect others to relate or even understand that same experience. the best I can do is share and pray to connect. the best you can do is pray that I hear and comprehend. God is our supreme mediator, through Him is the only true way to commune...it seems so easy to say that. I had a friend tell me once that life is never simple when other people are involved, I don't want to believe that, but at present circumstance it seems to be the only thing I can be sure of. so, on wars the battle inside me that seems to never end...God teaching me to love, and me doing everything in my power to stay isolated. God is good, I am sure of that...and love never fails.

2001-08-16T17:07:00.000-05:00

today ends my visit at home. it's weird to be leaving home to go home. now that I'm staying in colorado I'll for the first time be completely independent from my parents (financially that is). a good and scary feeling. I'm a little bit worried about it...but most of that is overcome with excitement. it also makes me wonder what God is up to. He has more than clearly shown me that I needed to take this position at the camp and stay, but I have no earthly idea why. so for the next year I'll be up in the mountains of colorado waiting on God to show me why He wanted me at this camp...selah.

2001-07-17T21:41:00.000-05:00

I saw this card the other day. It had a quote from this woman on the front. it said "life shrinks and expands in proportion to one's courage". at first reading this I thought it was new perspective and kind of insightful. I bought the card and upon sitting down to write in it I could only think of how I really don't agree with that statement. life shrinks and expands in proportion to our obedience. our obedience is only the same as the measure of our faith. our faith I find is quite comparable to our relationship with God. and that is the reason why I have decided after the summer I will be staying here in colorado. I think there is so much I am learning, and so much to share. but time alone with the computer is short. but if anyone still reads this, drop me a line and let me know how you are doing. God is good...and so is colorado. :)

2001-05-16T12:10:00.000-05:00

goodbye obu...hello colorado! (well, at least for three months anyway...) for the summer:

Hilary Leonard
All-Summer Intern
Young Life Trail West
18800 Trail West Drive
Buena Vista, CO 81211

2001-05-08T02:08:00.000-05:00

In one week I will walk away from OBU. Right now that one week seems like eternity, but in eight days I know I will be wondering where the time went. I'm on the edge of the unknown, I love that feeling. It's the same feeling one gets when running through an open field. The brief moment when you can let go of all fear, all apprehensions, and just run free. Nothing tying me down for a split second. The only problem with that second is that I hastly do all within my power to hold on to it. I shun responsibility and let relationships die, then I listen to the whisper in my ear telling me this is right, this is freedom. That is not freedom. That is chaining myself down and building that wall higher. Nothing is harder for me to fight though...the constant urge to cut free. Even if only from the loose strings.

Peace and beauty. What incredible blessings. Among all the turmoil and confusion, we can look around and still have peace in our souls. Praise God that He is God. Praise God that when I stamp my foot and demand my way, He lovingly shows me the way it has to be. Praise Him that even when I don't want to accept the truth, He continues to offer it until I finally see. It's funny to look at the past times in my life when I was so certain that God was wrong and I was right, be that concerning decisions, relationships, or whatever...praise God that He is truth. Praise God that He has a plan for my life...and it is a good plan. A plan to bring me hope and a future, even when it doesn't feel like it. It's not about what I think or feel, the truest thing about me is always what God says. Praise Him.

2001-05-04T21:22:00.000-05:00

I should blog something of worth before I leave for camp...that is assuming I might come up with something worth sharing...blah.

2001-04-26T09:10:00.000-05:00

Ah...feelings, thoughts, emotions. The thing tonight that is on
the forefront of my mind is how those get so muddled. They truly
are a beautiful gift from God. Can you imagine a world void of
those things? I tried to be that way...but I'm thankful that God
broke through that. Only thing is, they are hard to distinguish,
hard to hold on to, for me they are ever changing. That
frustrates me. One day I will be so certain of how I feel, what
I think, what I'm going to do about something...then the next
day, it's like the day before never happened. why is that? I
throw that question to the void.

The void which so often is my companion. He has no questions, no
answers, he just takes it all in...takes all of me in. Lets me
rant and rave, scream and cry, smile and laugh. And he's there
the next day. But it's always sad when I come to the stark
realization of the truth, that he is but a void. He not
indicating anyone or anything in particular, but just what it is,
void. And sometimes void and I...we're old friends curled up
recounting old memories. Then there are days when void just
envelopes me and runs his fingers through my hair telling me,
that even though he was right he's not gonna say I told you
so...he's just gonna sit there and gently rock me until I can no
longer cry. And some days I'm thankful for the good old void,
but there are days when i also wish he knew my name.

But doesn't he? Isn't that void not something distant, but
something very real, something not a void at all? Is He not the
One...the One who holds all my tears in a bottle, the One who
brings me joy in the morning...in fact He even has all the
answers. And my stark realization of His void, is nothing but my
own ignorance that I fashion. The ignorance my void uncovers and
brings light to...I once was lost, but now I see.

2001-04-23T14:45:00.000-05:00

Nowhere Else But Here
(matthew perryman jones)

I sit beneath a spring night sky above me
and see the stars as shiny grains of sands
my heart it sinks and doubts that you could love me
as my head it falls into my empty hands
break through my doubt and let me know you're near
meet me now
I am nowhere else but here

so many walls of secret pain still hide me
and desperately I want to be let out
all the dreams that live so deep inside me
and held within the shadow of a doubt
take my hand and teach me not to fear
meet me now
I am nowhere else but here
and here I sit upon the fence still waiting
I can't decide on where I want to be
my heart is torn, my mind is still debating
I just want to be where love can set me free
speak to me and make it all so clear
meet me now
I am nowhere else but here
hallelujah...

2001-04-22T23:09:00.000-05:00

cheesecake frozen yogurt
dripping in my glass
orange milky syrup
flopping like a bass

can i really eat this mess
slurping through a straw
they call it dairy delight
blah blah blah BLAH

i think i'll get the fruit
molding on the bar
and pass on that cheesy juice
squirting near and far

(i could never have written this lovely ode to cheesecake yogurt if it weren't for my dear friend, amber)

2001-04-19T12:28:00.000-05:00

Today in my philosophy class the thought occured to me for the first time that I just might not agree with the death penalty. That seems odd. I think my professor just put it in a way today that I had never thought. He was lecturing about conservatism and liberalism and being fair. How we can't from a christian or ethical position make unfair exceptions and rules and give advantage. He used the example of abortion vs. death penalty. Only he didn't come right out and say that. He was pointing out how people justify saying that abortion is wrong, it's making a conscious choice to kill a life, and as a christian that's wrong (based on the 10 commandments). He was alluding to his belief that the death penalty is wrong on the same evidence, but he wouldn't say it. I had never thought about it before. I don't know if any of that really makes sense. Today though, it made me think.

April 19, 1995. Timothy McVeigh. 168 innocent people murdered. I live among the victims. I've seen the pain of family members and of rescuers; I've walked around the memorial and museum. I've seen the effect that one man has had on this state. Death penalty. When Dr. Wester explained it, it didn't make sense for me to believe in the death penalty...but looking into the faces of the victims and survivors, it doesn't make sense for me not to. I don't know how to compensate for that...I don't know if I ever will.

2001-04-16T21:39:00.000-05:00

all i want
(stephen smith)

all i want is my frustration - to be replaced with signs of spring
and all i want is confirmation - that you're gonna see me through
see me through this thing - and all i want
all i want...all i want is you
and all i want is just a window to let me know there's light outside
and all i want is confirmation that what i'm feeling
feeling isn't right - and all i want
all i want...all i want is you
and all i want is that you'd find me - and i'd have nothing more to say
all i want is pure reflection - of the one that's standing right in front of me
and all i want
all i want...all i want is you

2001-04-13T19:27:00.000-05:00

talked to my sister today. her and her husband had just gotten back from a doctor's appointment. In less than four months Parker James Sanderson will be another part of our family. I am so excited for them...

2001-04-11T08:40:00.000-05:00

I don't think that it's fair that the same school that wakes everyone up at 3am for a tornado warning and frantically shoves us into the basement is the same school that expects us to be on time for our morning classes. I also don't find it fair that I'm the only 19 year old with a roommate who can't read a clock and so on the same night we're all woken up for that tornado, I am woken up in a frenzy thinking I'm late for the class I am still expected to go to...long before it's class time.

2001-04-10T01:33:00.000-05:00

Philippians 4:7
"And the peace of God, which surpasses all comprehension, shall guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus."

2001-04-08T22:47:00.000-05:00

You took what wasn't yours to have. You marched into my life and demanded what I wasn't willing to give, and then you took it anyway. Then you ran. I thought I could forget it, but tonight...the pain is very real. And I wish I never knew your name.

2001-04-04T10:33:00.000-05:00

First they took away MSN messenger....now they've stolen AOL's...I found yahoo yesterday, I wonder how long before it's gone too. So for anyone who really wants to chat, or is really bored, I now am forced to use yahoo (hilaryrose1). Maybe the nazi's will give us aol back soon...oh well, maybe this will help me get homework done.

2001-04-03T22:39:00.000-05:00

Oklahoma University...I can't believe that I'm actually going to transfer. I am afraid that the peace I feel about this is just some fabrication I've made for myself so I have an excuse to leave. I often crave change and I worry that this is the wrong thing. I honestly don't believe that, but I am afraid. I am afraid that I will land flat on my face, that everyone who is calling me crazy is right, and that I have mistaken God's will. OBU hasn't been bad...I am so thankful that I was here this year, but I can't stay. I would go nuts...and I do believe that it's God's will for me to go...but I'm still a bit scared.

2001-03-28T19:42:00.000-06:00

Aaron…3/28/01
I miss the quiet oblivian
When our biggest fear was bedtime
And a warm hug would solve all
There was no pain
No hurt
No tears
I didn’t have to worry about you
Like I do right now
Afraid that next time I call
You won’t be there
Wake up!
Listen to your heart
You are so much more than this
I know
I’ve seen it
That dazzle in your eye
You’ve slowly killed
And I wish I could bring it back for you
I wish I could do it for you
But I can’t
I can’t
You only invite more sorrow
More trouble
Into your puzzle
The puzzle you’ll never solve
There’s no solution the way you try
There is only One
And you know Him
I wish I could do it for you
But I can’t.

2001-03-26T18:42:00.000-06:00

"If we have never had the experience of taking our commonplace religious shoes off our commonplace religious feet, and getting rid of all the undue familiarity with which we approach God, it is questionable whether we have ever stood in His presence. The people who are flippant and familiar are those who have never yet been introduced to Jesus Christ. After the amazing delight and liberty of realizing what Jesus Christ does, comes the impenetrable darkness of realizing Who He is."

-Oswald Chambers

2001-03-26T09:59:00.000-06:00

I will be spending the summer at Young Life family camp as an intern...I'm really excited...I think...

2001-03-24T18:46:00.000-06:00

A poem from my RA....
"oh hilary, oh hilary!
where have you been?
without you I cannot win!
I miss you like crazy!
stop being so lazy!
are you even around?
I have not heard a hilary sound
why haven't you come to see me?
I won't give you a single flea!
I got rid of those!
they ran from my nose!
So I rest my plea,
don't forget me
so stop by
just to say hi!
I love you!"

Rosa, you're the best!

2001-03-24T00:19:00.000-06:00

I love my church!!!

"and what of the human heart's capacity to understand God? Here we need the help of passionate visionaries...
Sacred scripture is too important to be left exclusively to biblical scholars.
Theology is too vital to be consigned to the province of theologians.
To explore the depths of the God who invites our trust,
we need the artists and mystics...
Through daring images and bold metaphors rooted in the Word, they guide us to a profound self-esteem within an enlarged vision of the magnitude of the Divine."

-the backroom

2001-03-22T21:49:00.000-06:00

Surrender. As a song echoes that word in my ear and in my mind the warnings against vanity from Solomon are fresh before me, I can't help but think that I don't understand. I feel that if I truly understood Christ--and I truly knew Him, surrendering would be the only expression I could muster up. But that is far from true. I am the opposite. Not only do I cling to things until my knuckles are white, I continue to gather more and more that I will refuse to let go of. Simplicity has been a common theme running through my life lately and I think God's call to simplicity extends further than just the tangible. I need simplicity in my relationships, in my emotions, in my walk with God. I over analyze, over think, over feel, gather up and hold tighly to life and things that don't mean much. I need to walk, feel, have, be...simply. Life, simply in the way God intended me to live. All else is vanity.

2001-03-05T22:30:00.000-06:00

I used to make up little songs to help me remember things for tests. Like you know you sing the answer to "mary had a little lamb" or something...well it's not working so well these days...so if anyone can come up with a catchy little tune to how Augustine resolves the problem of evil...let me know!

2001-03-01T23:54:00.000-06:00

communion...what are your thoughts?

2001-02-26T15:11:00.000-06:00

it's funny how when you want something so bad you are willing to do anything for it, and then when you get it you realize....maybe this isn't what I wanted. but by then it makes it far too dangerous to make a voyage to the next place, because what if it turns out to be the same as here. I know I don't want here...but I don't want to leave to find that here is everywhere. so I reluctantly sit and wait...

2001-02-20T20:23:00.000-06:00

do I think it was crazy to go? nope...I think it was crazy not to stay...

2001-02-15T19:27:00.000-06:00

"so what's in alabama anyway?"

"I don't know..."

"then why are you going?"

"to find out."

2001-02-12T18:19:00.000-06:00

coffee always helps me think.

2001-02-07T20:18:00.000-06:00

days like today
gray and just cold enough
call to me
they invite and provoke
freedom from my
soul
they whisper in my ear
and my thoughts
like wild horses
burst out of me
and run
free
in temperments such as these
I long for a sea of faces
surrounding me
I want to be lost among the noise
until I am just about to
drown
and in moments such as those
I long for a quiet hand
reaching out
offering salvation from the masses
someone who will just
understand

2001-02-06T20:45:00.000-06:00

when people who used to be an everyday part of your life fade away you learn to go on, and sometimes you long to go on. but how are you supposed to act when they start sneaking back in...

there are many people I was happy to say goodbye to. I have since longed to forget that part of my life, and just when I think I am almost there...they're creeping back in. I don't know how, and it is so random I am hardly prepared for it. But do you really prepare for this kind of a thing. I am certain I am over dramatizing this...but I never expected this, and in all honesty, I don't want it. It brings back too much...old friends carry old memories, old stories, past pain. This is all I have longed to forget.

2001-02-04T01:41:00.000-06:00

Tower-Brad Kilman

Jesus, Jesus you are my tower, Lord
Jesus, Jesus the rock I stand on
Jesus, Jesus there is no other name
Like your name
And I will wait on you

The Lord is good to those who wait for Him
Oh, I will be still
And I will Know you are God
Your loving kindnesses
Indeed they never cease
Your compassions never fail

My story simple told I waited for the Lord
He heard my cry

"The Lord's lovingkindnesses indeed never cease, for His compassions never fail. They are new every morning; great is Thy faithfulness. 'The Lord is my portion,' says my soul, 'therefore I have hope in Him.' The Lord is good to those who wait for Him, to the person who seeks Him."
Lamentations 3:22-25

2001-01-30T10:28:00.000-06:00

to be genuine, to give freely, to love wholly....to just be who it is that I am, who it is that God has called me to be...nothing more, nothing less.

2001-01-28T14:34:00.000-06:00

I just have to add my two cents in on this subject, eighth day books is a very cool place.

2001-01-22T09:46:00.000-06:00

why do we as humans constantly feel the need to justify ourselves??? our actions, our thoughts...everything...

2001-01-21T00:41:00.000-06:00

blog de hilary is new and improved...finally!!! thanks mag!

2001-01-20T15:53:00.000-06:00

I am truly blessed by God. In the warm embraces from my family, the laughter I find among friends, the kind words of a stranger, even the gentle breeze (and since I live in oklahoma, sometimes very strong winds) speak of His gifts...thank you God for loving even me.

2001-01-10T00:40:00.000-06:00

At work today I was talking to some random lady about school. She asked me about my major and the such...commenting on how good it was that I am in school, even if I haven't picked a major. She walked away from the conversation and she turned around and said, "don't forget, whatever you decided to do it's all about the money." Just as serious as could be. I hope my life never comes down to that. I never want it to be all about the money...the abundance or the lack of it. I suppose I share that simply because the situation was thought provoking for me. Makes me think...what is my life all about?

2001-01-07T23:02:00.000-06:00

I got a call from my sister last night. She was calling to tell me that she is pregnant. It is wonderful news...that kid is going to be spoiled rotten, first granchild on both sides. It kinda weirded me out though. My big sister...a mom. It doesn't seem like she's old enough to start having kids. She's 24, so she is, but it's just weird. For a couple of reasons I think. First of all, I think because of maturity levels. I have always perceived parents and such as these wise people, these mature beings who have everything figured out...and well, I know my sister and her husband, not even close to my perceptions. I guess which just kind of handed me a taste of reality. Secondly, age. Now I know she is 24, she is five years my senior, but I always thought her to be so much bigger and older than me until a few years ago. That was shattered because I am at the age I thought her to be big at, and I am not grown by any means. I think the age thing bothers me because I seem to be catching up to her. It seems like yesterday to me when she was 19 and off to college...and I don't want tomorrow to come and find me married and pregnant. Thirdly, I think this in some way puts a seal on her growing up and having her own family. It was different when she got married because it was her and Branden...but now there will be a baby, like their own little family...and I feel in a way as though I am losing something. I know that is ridiculous because we are all gaining a new life, but that childish bond of sisterhood is growing into a more mature sister/friend bond...and while all this is good, I am still going to miss the child in her.

2000-12-27T02:02:00.000-06:00

"I go through this life as a transient on his way to eternity, made in the image of God but with that image debased, needing to be taught how to meditate, to worship, to think."
-David Coggan

I laid in bed last trying to fall asleep with that quote running through my mind. I thought of how I want to embody that truth...I want that to be how I live my life. But it's not. I am too prideful to admit that I don't know what I am doing, too prideful too surrender. I profess to God that I want Him to teach me, but then I fail to listen for his guidance and instruction. Or even worse, I ignore His voice. That is no way to live. Lord, teach me...to meditate, to worship, to think....to live...

2000-12-19T00:28:00.000-06:00

Christmas break at my school last for six weeks...what am I supposed to do with six weeks? I think I might go crazy...

2000-12-12T23:42:00.000-06:00

"The Bible speaks of those who despise the days of small things. I know I was often upset in the days of preparation. Indeed I still get impatient with God.But God is preparing me for that work He has up ahead for me. God was, and still is, working in my life to condition me for that next step, whatever it might be. For we are His poema, His workmanship or work of art. God desires to express Himself in the lives of his people. We become the expression of God to the world, for it is through what they observe in us that they get some idea about the nature and character of the One who fashioned us, the Artist. Thus God seeks to reveal Himself through me and through all genuine believers.
As I submit to God's touch, He is able to express His poetry in and through me. This is a staggering thought, and an immense reponsibility. And without His grace, it is impossible."

-Chuck Smith, Harvest

2000-12-12T22:02:00.000-06:00

I just want to say that I love my brother. He is a pretty cool guy. Whenever I am at school and I don't miss my dog, or my parents, or even home cooked meals...I miss him....he's a good brother.

2000-12-11T13:55:00.000-06:00

Finals started today for me, they'll be over by tomorrow. One thing I definetly learned this semester, as much as I hate to study...it is not overrated--it is needed. Too bad I waited until the weekend before finals to consider that. Well, there's always next semester.

As I look back at the past year in my life I am beginning to see why God has allowed me to go through the things that I have. I believe that He was teaching me to not rely on my emotions. One thing that my old youth pastor used to pound into our heads was this quote: "The truth about you is always what God says, not what you think or feel, not what others say or do. The truest thing about you is ALWAYS what God says!" Too many times I have relied on how I feel about something, instead of listening to the truth...I don't want to do that anymore...

2000-12-04T16:00:00.000-06:00

Rescue Me
they speak
but I can't hear
you explain
and I don't understand
I look
yet still do not see
what is it that i don't comprehend?
Why?
are people a mystery...
are concepts too much...
can I not define the very things I feel and believe?!?!
how can I survive
in a world that swallows people alive
can I live without
passion--
a cold heart wondering in this void...
DEAR GOD--RESCUE ME FROM THIS BODY OF DEATH!

2000-12-01T02:40:00.000-06:00

River God-Nichole Nordeman

Rolling River God
Little stones are smooth
Only once the water passes through
So I am a stone
Rough and grainy still
Trying to reconcile this river's chill

But when I close my eyes
And feel you rushing by
I know that time brings change
And change takes time

And when the sunset comes
My prayer would be this one
That You might pick me up
And notice that I am
Just a little smoother in Your hand

Sometimes raging wild
Sometimes swollen high
Never have I known this river dry
The deepest part of You
Is where I want to stay
And feel the sharpest edges wash away

2000-11-22T23:20:00.000-06:00

Children are like a breath of fresh air. I sat babysitting tonight and for five hours I got to partake of the laughter, smiles, giggles, innocence, and unlimited love. What an incredible reminder of how God has called me to be. "Permit the children to come to Me; do not hinder them; for the kingdom of God belongs to such as these..." (Mark 10:14) Unless I become like them...it is no wonder with company such as the disciples that Jesus drew the little ones near. This brings me to examine just where I fit into that analogy. Am I condemned for having too little faith--or am I summoned to draw near? Too often I fear, I have too little faith, if I have any at all. I need to do Jesus as Rachel and Taylor demonstrated to me. Crawl up in Jesus' lap and just love Him. Know and be sure that He is here to catch me when I fall, trust that His unconditional love is there before I even offer mine. Believe that Jesus has set aside the time strictly to be with me. To love me, to play with me, to listen and ask questions...to explain to me the way things are, and the way things should be. I need to run to Him having nothing to hide and nothing to hold back. Nothing to do, but just be. Just to be in His presence. That is all He desires...wreckless abandonment.

2000-11-20T12:16:00.000-06:00

I HATE COLLEGE!!!!!!! How exactly is old testament going to help me succeed in life? It's not. And why when you get locked out of your room is your RA never there, and your roommate is in class until 2...normally I would just wait for her...but that stupid old testament exam at 1. And why in college do they change the names of everything? No it's not a test, it's an exam...teachers...we don't have those, they're professors here. Today is one of those days that is better served in bed...I should have just said to myself, "no, don't get up....stay in bed today..." I don't think Thanksgiving break is ever going to come at this rate...

2000-11-18T10:39:00.000-06:00

Why is it that when you reserve your day to sleep until noon, someone thinks that it is their responsibility to wake you up at nine? And on the flip side of that why, when you had to be to class by eight does nobody wake you up until eleven??? Ah, the mysteries of this world...

2000-11-17T20:25:00.000-06:00

Today I got one of those silly surveys that people send out on emails. It was one others filled out about you to see if they really knew you or not...anyway, a friend sent it and her impressions of me struck me. One of the questions was "have you ever been jealous of me?" (she is asking herself about me). She put yes, which surprised me all together...but the reason she gave was even more odd to me. She said "yes, because you seem like you know what you want out of life, and when life throws you a curve ball you bat it out of the stadium." Wow...I feel so very far from that description. I have NO idea what I want in life...and when life throws me a curve ball, I feel as though I run and hide in the dugout...if only I could see what she sees when she looks at me...then maybe I would have a small clue about life...

2000-11-11T17:56:00.000-06:00

"To live by grace means to acknowledge my whole life story, the light side and the dark side. In admitting my shadow side I learn who I am and what God's grace means."
-Brennan Manning, The Ragamuffin Gospel

2 Corinthians 12:9
"and He said to me, 'My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is perfected in weakness.' Most gladly, therefore, I will rather boast about my weaknesses, that the power of Christ may dwell in me."

2000-11-09T23:28:00.000-06:00

this is my blog. maggie did it for me. she has the password, which makes me wonder if I should change it on her...who knows what she'll write on here if I don't. oh well, it could also keep things interesting. I guess we'll just have to wait and see...

2000-11-09T17:52:00.000-06:00

if i were hilary, this would be my blog.